


NOT GUILTY

by imawarlock



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, There is some violence but I would not really call it graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imawarlock/pseuds/imawarlock
Summary: Erwin Smith is a fresh-faced young lawyer, eager to work on his first case. Does he have what it takes to defend Levi Ackerman, without losing his head or his heart?
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 13
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic was started over on twitter, but I decided to move it over here because, of course, its getting out of control. If you're here from twitter, you'll want to start at chapter 3.

Erwin had hoped that his first client might have been someone more...cooperative. 

Instead, for his initial independent case as a freshly licensed lawyer and public defender, he had been assigned to one _Levi Ackerman._ Mr. Ackerman was in jail for attempted murder — a serious charge stemming from an incident that had happened over two months ago.

Since then, he’d been sitting in a cell because he had fired every lawyer that had been assigned to him so far, which meant that Erwin wasn’t surprised when he appeared surly and suspicious as he was led into the room for their first meeting. Erwin had already taken a seat, and he watched as the guard accompanying Levi roughly shoved him into his own chair across from him at the table. While he moved to shackle Levi’s cuffed hands to it, Erwin took a split second to quickly look over his new client.

He was small, Erwin saw, but built. Dark hair fell in front of dark eyes, and although Erwin could see anger and indignation simmering behind them, he seemed relatively relaxed — or at least, as much as could be in that moment, in that place, and in his situation. Still, for whatever reason, Erwin’s instincts told him that Levi wasn’t going to be dangerous, and so he stopped the guard before he could fully finish his task. 

“That’s not necessary.” He said to him, nodding at the metal cuffs locked around Levi’s wrists that were currently being fastened to the table. “You can uncuff him.”

The guard paused for a moment, but then shrugged. “Whatever. He’ll kick your ass out of here in five minutes anyway like everybody else.” 

“I hope not.” Erwin replied, speaking to the guard but looking at Levi. 

He offered him a small smile, an attempt to be friendly, but Levi did not return it while he was uncuffed. If he was grateful, Erwin thought, for having his hands freed, he did not show it, and instead just rubbed at his reddened wrists while eyeing Erwin with immense distrust. Again, Erwin wasn’t surprised, and didn’t actually blame him anyway. He had, of course, poured over Levi’s case file and the notes from the other lawyers before the meeting, and it seemed that the man had been through a lot. He also suspected there was more to the story of why he’d ended up there in the first place than what he had read. 

“Hello.” He started with that in mind, trying to sound as warm, non-threatening, and trustworthy as possible. “I’m Erwin Smith. I’m your new lawye—

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Levi interrupted before Erwin could even finish. 

Raising thin brows, he now took _his_ turn to size Erwin up, and unfortunately seemed to come away lacking. 

“Ah...no. I was assigned your case this morning. I’m sorry it took so long for them to find someone new, they—

“How the hell are you going to defend me? You look like you just fucking graduated college.”

Although he did not want to appear like he was taken aback by his client, Erwin was pretty sure that was what happened, as his lips parted slightly in surprise and he paused, blinking. He wasn’t offended, but out of all the things he might have expected Levi to say...well, that wasn’t it. Yes, sure, he was young. Yes, he had only been licensed for 11 months and this was the first case he would be handling on his own, but that didn’t mean he was inept. He had court experience, and he’d passed his licensing exam with a score that was in the top 3 percentile. Besides, according to the information he had on Levi, he was 30 — only two years older than Erwin anyway. 

“I assure you, I’m fully prepared to handle your case Mr. Ackerman.” He replied, doing his best to speak in the tone of a 55 year old experienced attorney in his prime. “The first thing I’d like to do is get you out of here. We need to ask for a bail hearing. To do that, I—

“How old are you?”

“...I’m 28.”

“28.” Levi repeated, staring at him with a deadpan expression. “Twenty-fucking-eight?”

“Yes. However, this isn’t my first case. I’ve been assisting other attorneys for almost a year now on cases just like yours, and—

“So you haven’t done any by yourself?”

Levi was sharp — Erwin could see that already. He’d hit the nail right on the head, and as much as Erwin hated to admit it, directly where he was the weakest. No, he hadn’t handled any cases by himself yet. He’d never been lead attorney until now, and deep down, he _was_ a little nervous because one year wasn’t actually that much. What human wouldn’t be, though? It was a lot of pressure, and unfortunately, despite how he wanted to try, he found it hard to come up with a good answer to Levi’s question.

There was none, to be honest, and obviously, it would be highly unethical to lie.

“No, Mr. Ackerman.” He replied then, now sounding less like the confident, older attorney that he wanted to be some day, and more like the 28 year old, fresh-faced ‘baby lawyer’ that he was now. “But as I said, I have experience and I know the law well, and I feel that I—

“Yeah, we’re done here.” Levi interrupted, rolling his eyes before he began to shout for the guard. “Hey, guard! Guard!”

As Levi yelled, Erwin frowned, and could not help the stab of disappointment and self-doubt that he felt at Levi’s words. Of course, he did not blame him if he wanted a more experienced attorney, but...it was just, there was Levi’s case file. He’d felt something while reading it, a spark, the flames of passion that had made him want to become a lawyer like this in the first place. Levi, he believed, had been failed by the system, and he had a hunch that he was now being set up to become the victim of corruption, carelessness, and the blatant disregard for individual rights — _exactly_ the type of client that he wanted to help. 

“Wait!” He ended up saying loudly, standing up as soon as the guard entered before he could stop himself. Staring down at Levi, who had gone silent out of obvious surprise, he used the brief second of respite to quickly compose himself again. “Can we just have one more moment, please?”

Although he was speaking to the guard, the question was really for Levi, who seemed to take a moment to consider it. For whatever reason — whether he was truly going to reassess Erwin, or just intrigued — he ended up nodding, which caused Erwin’s heart to skip a hopeful beat before the guard huffed in annoyance and left again. 

“Spit it out, Blondie.” Levi said then, while Erwin returned to his seat and smoothed down his tie.

Although his first instinct was to apologize for the outburst, he instead did as Levi had asked, uttering his reasoning bluntly and without further hesitation lest Levi change his mind about allowing him to stay: “I want to help you.”

“Yeah, sure. You know you’re a public defender and you have to do this for me for free, right?”

“I’m not asking for payment from you. I get paid by the government.”

“So? Who's to say you aren’t looking for a little more on the side? Your salary _has_ to be shit, right?”

“Mr. Ackerman, I’m not here to bribe you for money, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

“Okay, so are you just trying to make yourself look good then? You expecting a fucking promotion already? Let me guess: you want to run for office later.”

“What? No. Mr. Ackerman—

“The fuck is it then? Just tell me already, and quit wasting my time!”

With that exclamation, the anger that had been smoldering behind Levi’s eyes seemed to erupt somewhat, for he raised his voice enough for Erwin to be startled. He might have become nervous that he was going to be harmed if his instincts still hadn’t been telling him otherwise, and if he also hadn’t heard emotions behind Levi’s voice other than just anger. No, there were other things: bitterness, sorrow, and pain, and it also struck him that — even though he knew little to nothing about the man — Levi could not seem to believe that Erwin might just genuinely want to help him for a reason that didn’t involve personal gain. 

It was a sad thought, but needless to say, it just made Erwin want to try to fix the situation even more.

“I don’t think you should be in here.” He said with that in mind, taking a moment to pause and choose his next words carefully. He didn’t want to upset Levi again, he thought, because although he hadn’t yelled loud enough again to get the guard’s attention, the next instance might be different and enough to get Levi pulled out. “I don’t think you belong here, in jail.”

“Why? You don’t know shit about me!”

“I read your file.”

“Yeah, so you saw the police report then? I fucking stabbed a guy. He almost _died.”_

“There’s more in here than the police report, Mr. Ackerman. It contains all your records, your history. Your mother died when you were young, and you grew up in foster care. Your only other relative was your uncle, but he wasn’t around much, and so you bounced between half a dozen homes and were arrested multiple times for mostly non-violent juvenile offenses. Petty theft, underage drinking, vandalism. There were a few fights and you spent time in juvie, but even though you dropped out of high school, you were able to get your GED and start working. After that, no offenses appear on your record for the past 12 years except for a traffic violation — at least until now.”

Erwin, who had looked down to flip through Levi’s file while he talked, paused to glance back up then, opening his mouth to continue but finding himself stopped when he saw the expression that now appeared on Levi’s face. His jaw had dropped, Erwin noticed, and his eyes were wide with something that was honestly akin to horror, as if he was both shocked and revolted at Erwin knowing so much personal information about him and his life. He understood, and although he had the thought then that he might have come on too strong or gotten carried away — he tended to do that when talking about a case he was interested in — it was apparently too late to fix any of the damage, for Levi suddenly shook his head, glanced away, and decided he’d had enough of the conversation.

“Get out.” He practically hissed, after closing his eyes and clenching his fingers into fists on the table.

“But...Mr. Ackerman—

“Get out!” Levi’s small, calm voice turned into another yell — this one far louder than nearly _all_ of the other ones combined before. “Get. _Out._ Get out! Get out, get out, get out!”

Obviously, he was trying to alert the guard and that was _more_ than enough to do it, and at that point, there was clearly nothing that Erwin could have done to rectify the situation. He was escorted out, and although he attempted to drown himself in alcohol that night, feeling like he’d failed at defending his first case before he’d really even started, he could not forget the haunted look that he’d seen behind Levi’s eyes before he’d started shouting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miraculously, Erwin gets a call to return to the jail.

Two days later, Erwin was called back to the jail. Although there was only one inmate who he could think of that might want to speak to him right then, he still couldn’t help but be surprised when Levi was led in through the door and brought over to the table. 

“Mr. Ackerman.” He said in greeting then, obviously curious, but not really imagining that Levi might have requested this meeting because he had somehow changed his mind. 

He wasn’t going to get his hopes up, he thought, not after the last time, but once they were left alone it quickly became apparent that this meeting was going to be... _different_ from the one they’d had before that. The first hint came when Levi cleared his throat after Erwin again told the guard to leave him uncuffed, after he’d walked out and shut them in and Erwin watched the way that Levi hesitantly glanced up to meet his eye.

“Uh...thanks for that.” He said awkwardly, referring to his now free wrists — wrists that he again rubbed at gingerly because of how the metal had dug into his skin. 

After speaking, however, he quickly averted his gaze to stare down at the top of his palms with a frown, but even so, just that mild show of congeniality was enough for Erwin to raise a brow, and to further make him wonder just _what_ exactly this was about.

“You’re welcome.” He replied then, pausing for a moment or two to see if Levi was going to explain on his own. He didn’t, and so Erwin took the initiative, shifting to place his elbows on the table so that he could lean in closer to him. “You wanted to see me again, Mr. Ackerman?” 

Somewhat unsurprisingly, Levi did not reply right away. Instead, he continued to stare down at his hands in silence, although his brows had drawn in tightly and he was biting his lip, all as if he was thinking. He swallowed too, Erwin noticed, and fidgeted a bit in his seat, but took so long in answering his question that Erwin started to wonder if he was actually going to and whether or not this was a waste of time. Levi’s demeanor though — unconfident, and timorous — was a far cry from the defiance and hostility that Erwin had seen before, and he wanted to know why, and what had caused the change, and what the actual chances were that he had thought about it and decided he’d made a mistake in refusing Erwin’s help.

The odds of that seemed low, but somehow, after one last second’s pause, Levi finally found the words to reveal to Erwin that he had.

“Yeah, uh…” Levi started, clearly feeling uncomfortable at having to ask after his outburst from the other day — _if_ his continued avoidance of Erwin’s gaze and his bright red ears said anything, anyway. “I was just wondering if...if, uh, if you could still be my lawyer?” 

At his question, Erwin felt an inevitable spark of excitement. Still, he quickly tamped it down, tried at least, because although it looked like Levi _had_ changed his mind, he’d already made the mistake of getting ahead of himself once and obviously did not want to do it again. 

“Yes.” Erwin confirmed with that thought, finding himself offering Levi a smile when his answer caused Levi to glance up again quickly, almost hopefully, all in a way that made Erwin’s heart pang unexpectedly. “I can still be your lawyer, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want. Do I have to sign something, or some shit?” Came Levi’s quick reply — words that he uttered with more certainty this time now that he apparently had the answer that he wanted. 

“We can do that later, if it’s alright with you. I didn’t bring the form me with today because I—

“Yeah. Uh. Fuck...sorry. I mean, for before.” Levi interrupted, this time to offer an apology rather than to rudely question his abilities like he had a few days earlier. 

Again, Erwin was taken aback, especially since the apology...well, wasn’t really necessary right then, at least not to him. Still, he could appreciate it, as although Levi winced and Erwin couldn’t tell whether he actually meant it or was just doing it because he felt he had to, he was at least trying, which was a sign that he, in fact, might be prepared to take this more seriously. Despite how Erwin was starting to recognize that though, his mind still raced with questions. Why had Levi called him back and asked him this now, after how angry and bothered he’d been the other day? What had he thought about over the last 48 hours?

He’d already gone through several other lawyers before Erwin, and so what had made Levi ask for _him_ to come back specifically? Had he somehow given Levi a bit of hope through their brief interaction, or was he finally tired of just sitting around in a jail cell and Erwin happened to be the most recent person that he’d talked to?

It was probably the latter, he thought, but regardless of that, no matter _how_ Levi had come to the decision, the fact that he had still concluded in some way that Erwin was his best chance in getting out of prison made him feel good. It made him feel inspired again, and it returned to him some of the confidence that he had unfortunately lost after being dismissed so harshly the other day. 

“That’s alright.” Erwin replied warmly then, now unable to keep the smile from leaving his face as his spirits increased. “I should apologize too. I got ahead of myself, and I should have warned you about what we were going to be discussing. I’d assumed that the other attorneys you’d met with had already gone over it with you, but I suppose that must not have been the case.”

At that, Levi, who had sat up from where he’d been previously slumped into his seat, snorted. “Nah. I didn’t let them fucking get that far.”

“I see.”

“I could tell they were shit from the beginning.”

“Well, it’s good that you picked someone.” Erwin replied to that, ignoring the urge he had to ask Levi what was so ‘shit’ about them. “I heard yesterday that the judge was getting ready to assign you someone himself, and you wouldn’t have had a choice.”

It was true — Erwin had been told that by a co-worker, and he hadn’t been surprised. Instead, he’d actually been shocked that the judge had waited that long and hadn’t lost his patience with the situation much, much earlier. Either way, the news made Levi scowl deeply, and understandably so, in Erwin’s opinion. Before he could say anything, however, Erwin continued, tapping on the case file he had brought with him thoughtfully. If they were going to do this, he knew, if they were going to get into everything that had to do with Levi’s past and the incident that had landed him in jail, then incident, then despite how he worried it might scare Levi off again, he felt he was going to have to make something clear.

“If I’m going to represent you though, Mr. Ackerman, we will have to discuss things that you might be uncomfortable with. Are you going to be alright with that?”

“Yeah…” Levi muttered, looking away again with a frown, but speaking with the tone of someone who had already thought this over and was now resigned to it. “...yeah, I get it. That’s fucking fine.”

“I can bring copies next time, however, that I can give you. You can look them over before we talk, if that makes you feel better.”

“Okay. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

Erwin paused at that, partly because he was still slightly taken aback by how agreeable Levi was being after last time, and partly because...well, should he get started? There was nothing stopping him, he supposed, but he again had to swallow down his excitement. _Slowly_ this time, he reminded himself. 

“The other day, you said something about a bail hearing....?” Levi asked though, before Erwin could get going, essentially confirming what he had suspected before about why Levi had called him back: he was tired of sitting in jail, enough, finally, to get him to choose an attorney.

Obviously, he didn’t blame him for that at all, because _of course_ Levi was tired of sitting in jail. That was expected, and considering that Erwin wanted to get him out of there too — he’d meant what he’d said last time, that he thought Levi shouldn’t be imprisoned — and it was actually his job to try and do so, he had no problem with the reasoning, nor answering Levi’s question.

“Yes.” Erwin confirmed, perking up even more before he began his explanation. “The judge hasn’t set bail for you yet, and I want to request a hearing. Obviously, my goal during that hearing will be to convince him that you aren’t dangerous enough to warrant being kept in prison prior to the trial, and to get him to set bail at an amount you’ll be able to secure.”

“And then I can get out?”

“And then you can get out. You’ll only have to go back if the jury finds you guilty at trial.”

Levi frowned at that, at the word ‘guilty,’ and crossed his arms, sitting back in his chair again while he stared down at his lap. He seemed to be deep in thought once more, Erwin noticed, but then he scoffed, and spoke in a tone of voice that didn’t exactly sound very positive.

“You make it sound fucking easy.”

“Well, it’s not always. But I think we have a good chance. The judge assigned to your case is reasonable, and...it’s like I said before: I don’t think you should be in here. The facts are—

“Yeah, you kept fucking saying that shit, but I don’t get why. I told you, I _stabbed_ a guy.”

“In self defense, correct?” Erwin responded, flipping open Levi’s case file to a page that he had previously flagged. It was the police report from the incident, and after scanning it quickly, he pressed his finger to the line that he was looking for, and recited it out loud: “You reported that the other man pulled out the knife first. ‘Perpetrator states he stopped assault when victim fell down and didn’t get back up. Victim then returned with knife and attempted to attack him.’”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, you admitted to the police that you were fighting, but you said that you stopped when you thought that the other man was down, and no longer able to fight back. That alone suggests that you weren’t there to kill him. According to what you said here, you tried to walk away, and only ended up stabbing him when he came back with his own knife, trying to kill you, after you wrestled it from him. 

“And you think that’s self defense?”

“I think it can be seen that way, and that it’s also the difference between an assault charge and an attempted murder charge, because it can be argued that at that point, you had already decided the fight had gotten out of control. You didn’t want to kill him, and so that’s why you stopped when he’d seemed to have had enough, and why you started to walk away. You wouldn’t have stabbed him if he hadn’t attacked you again with the weapon, which you only did to get him off because he was trying to kill you. _”_

Levi raised a brow at Erwin’s words, and Erwin knew why: to some, it probably sounded like he was...well, _reaching._ However, it was also odd to him that he was essentially debating the merits of Levi’s case with Levi himself, who in his experience, would normally be heartily agreeing with Erwin’s assessment whether it was actually true or not. Was this some kind of a test? Because Erwin wasn’t stupid, he suspected that it might be — Levi obviously wasn’t going to automatically trust him just because he’d changed his mind and decided to make Erwin his lawyer. Clearly, he was more difficult than most to impress, but...the problem was, even if he suspected Levi was now essentially putting him on some kind of trial of his own, Erwin wasn’t exactly sure of what he needed to do to win. 

“So you think I’m innocent, then? Is that what you’re saying?” Levi continued, while Erwin thought. 

That question, he figured, was the jist of it all for Levi, and most people, even some other attorneys, would answer him yes or no. Of course, he had his personal opinion about it himself, but...that wasn’t the issue to him, at least not yet, and even though he assumed that Levi wanted him to say ‘yes,’ regardless of what it would result in, Erwin still knew it was important for him to be honest.

“That doesn’t really matter to me.” He murmured, leaning forward over the table even closer, almost insistently, in the hopes that Levi would listen and fully understand. “My job, at least at this point, is to make sure that you have the best defense possible, and that you’re treated fairly under the law. Right now, I don’t think that you’re being treated fairly. I think that they don’t actually have enough to charge you with attempted murder, and that you’re only being prosecuted for it because the DA is up for reelection soon and he wants to look like he’s cleaning up the streets. Furthermore, the current precedent...that is, the rulings of the past that guide us in the present...suggests to me that the judge will let you out on bail, if I don’t screw up my argument.”

Levi blinked at that. He was silent for a few moments, and although Erwin knew he wouldn’t regret what he’d said that time, he was still completely sure, at least for a split second, that Levi was going to get mad, change his mind again, and kick him out. 

Surprisingly, though, he didn’t. Surprisingly, he just shrugged in the end as if Erwin’s answer satisfied him, and then nodded. 

“Okay.” He said too, with enough nonchalance that it was now Erwin’s turn to just stare and blink.

“So...so do I have your permission to request the hearing then, or…?”

“Yeah.” Levi replied, leaning over just as Erwin had done to get closer, until he was only about a foot away from him while looking him straight into the eye. “Do it.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi reveals his side of the story.

As Levi told it, the story went something like this: 

One morning, he’d gotten home from his nightly shift as head cook at a local diner, and noticed a strange man loitering in the alley near his building. He’d stopped in front of the entrance to check him out because to Levi, he’d seemed so noticeable — walking in small circles, smoking, side eyeing everyone that passed by. He had shaggy blonde hair, glasses, and a beard, and was oddly wearing thick cargo pants and a long jacket even though it was summer. 

Immediately, Levi hated him. Yeah, sure, he didn’t know _who_ he was but he had a bad feeling about him, and that feeling only grew stronger when he was there again the next day, and the next. What the fuck? Was he a drug dealer? That was Levi’s first hunch, because although no one else passing by paid him any mind, he, of course, had a past, and that past had taught him how to recognize shady characters when he saw them. 

Fuck, he’d thought, his neighborhood in general _was_ considered the ‘bad side of town’ — a label he resented, however, when the majority of people were just poor — and he knew there was a high crime rate, but the last thing he wanted was a fucking drug dealer selling outside his building. The reasons for that, of course, were multiple, but the most important one was the fact that there was a person who frequented his apartment building who was special to him, who came around often, and who did not need any kind of fucking temptation to go out and buy drugs at all. 

Her name was Isabel, and she had been one of Levi’s foster siblings. He’d had many but they’d lived together in what had turned out to be an abusive household and formed a bond, as obviously, they’d had to stick together even while Levi did his best to protect her from the worst of it until they were moved to new homes. She was 24 now and they had never lost touch, but unlike him, she'd not yet managed to get her life on track after falling in with the same bad crowds that Levi had as a teenager. 

She’d already spent two stints in rehab for drug addiction, for fuck’s sake, and because she frequented his apartment when she wasn’t crashing at Levi’s other close friend Farlan’s, Levi worried that this would strain her sobriety and she would end up using again. She wasn’t the only one, either; the streets surrounding Levi’s building were the very same ones that he had grown up on, and after deciding to stay there as an adult, he had tried his best to become positively active in the community, to help. 

As such, his apartment pretty much served as a sort of halfway house for a number of kids at any different point in time by then, and needless to say, _none_ of them would benefit from the temptation or the access to such an easy score, even the ones who didn’t have drug problems to begin with. What the hell could he do, though? Call the cops? No, he had never trusted cops and he never, ever fucking would, and he doubted getting them involved would accomplish anything except to make everyone wary. 

Unfortunately, short of going down to try and intimidate the guy — or talk reasonably with him, which Levi did not think would work either — Levi didn’t really have any other ideas, but he didn’t want to do _that_ either, not after he had spent over a decade dragging himself up from the bottom of the ladder and the shit hand he’d been dealt in life to get to where he was now. 

He was proud of the progress he’d made, of the fact that he had a sizable apartment of his own, a paid off bike and a good, steady job, and how he’d been saving up to go to culinary school for so long that he nearly had enough money to enroll.

That was what he wanted to do with the rest of his life: cook, be a _real_ chef, because he enjoyed it a lot and found it both easy and satisfying to express himself through food, and interacting with some drug dealer in even the smallest of ways was probably not a good idea. It was just better not to risk it, he thought, because he had learned to be careful, and for a bit, the only thing he thought he could do was just hope that the man would move along quickly and go the fuck away. 

Of course, that did not happen, and sooner rather than later Levi ended up finding Isabel strung out on his couch with a used needle on the floor. There was a bag of dope still in her hand too and despite how he _did_ have a strict no drugs policy in his home _—_ it was _supposed_ to be a place where people could get back on their feet again _—_ he found it impossible to be angry with her when first, he knew that when it came down to it she was sick, and second, if there wasn’t some asshole pandering around to addicts in the alley then this might not have ever even happened to begin with. 

Swearing up and down at the situation, all he managed to do right then was just take any remaining drugs from Isabel and flush them down the toilet, but he knew that it was practically pointless and this was only the beginning. True enough, he was right, and from then on he just became incensed, and obsessed. He was pissed. A shady bastard selling drugs on _his_ street, to Isabel and the young adults he was trying to help? It was bullshit, and through his protectiveness he unfortunately began to feel some of the aggression and the anger problems he’d struggled with when he was younger start to rear their ugly heads again. 

He tried to work it out with punching bags but that only helped so much when he continued to come home and find Isabel high — often dangerously so, it seemed to him — despite his _pleading_ with her to stop, and he ended up tasking Farlan to find out more about the dealer because he couldn’t do it himself. Farlan was clean like him but was younger and still had connections on the street, and it didn’t take long for him to let Levi know that the man’s name was Zeke Jaeger, and that he ran some kind of low scale drug operation with his brother. 

There were three other locations he hung out at when he wasn’t in the alley, apparently, although Farlan had heard through word of mouth that the one by Levi’s building was his favorite spot. His _favorite spot?_ Needless to say, that terminology just enraged Levi even more, although still, to his credit, he _did_ decide to end up risking it to try and reason with Zeke before things got ugly, and before they...well, before it all eventually came to a very violent and unfortunate head. 

Of course, it didn’t work. The piece of shit looked down on him like he was a joke and didn’t take him seriously when Levi spouted false threats and used intimidating language, and he certainly didn’t care when Levi tried to be honest with him and just flat out told him about Isabel and explained the entire situation. Instead, he just shrugged and said some bullshit about making good money there, which, of course, aggravated Levi so much that it was a wonder he managed not to kick the fucker’s ass right then and there. 

_“Listen.”_ He said instead, speaking through a tightly clenched jaw and his barely controlled anger. “I’ve tried to be nice, but you don’t seem to hear me. If you don’t fucking go, you’re going to regret it. Do you understand?”

Zeke only laughed in response to that, and took a drag off his joint. He reeked of weed and looked like he hadn’t showered in 5 days — _fucking_ _disgusting_ , Levi thought — and he seemed to think that because he was a lot taller than Levi, he had nothing to be concerned about. 

“And who's going to make me regret it?” He responded, his voice so full of amusement and confident smugness that Levi thought he might gag. _“You?”_

Levi wanted to beat the shit out of the man even more then, but he walked off — not that it mattered in the end, because 5 days later Levi found Isabel unconscious on his kitchen floor, barely breathing and unresponsive enough to make him call an ambulance immediately. He rode with her to the hospital and was truly afraid that she was about to fucking die, but after arriving at the ER, waiting while she was cared for, and finally, _thankfully_ being told that she was going to be okay, Levi could just no longer control his goddamn temper. 

This time, he found Zeke not in the alley but behind one of his other ‘spots,’ a seedy bar on the other side of town, standing next to a dumpster with another joint in his hand that he puffed on languidly. 

“You fucking piece of shit!” Levi shouted at him then, striding forward with his fists clenched and prepared for a fucking _fight._

Although Zeke heard him and turned toward Levi to face him, he did not have time to respond or even realize what was happening before Levi decked him right in the face, hitting him so hard that the joint went flying out of his mouth and he fell back against the dumpster. Dazed and with his stupid glasses already broken, he essentially bounced off of it, stumbled, and then fell onto his side too, and if Levi had been in his right mind, he might have stopped there. 

However, he wasn’t in his right mind any longer. No, he was now consumed by anger, by frustration, by _hatred_ , and he couldn't stop himself, ending up going into a rage, essentially, for his sister Isabel, but also for himself and other kids like them, kids who were born without luck and lost in the system, discarded like trash and forgotten, uncared for and ignored and forced to do rotten things just to survive, and worst of all, taken advantage of by pieces of shit like Zeke Jaeger who could ruin what minimal chance they had to rise above it all in the first place with one tiny fucking _bullshit_ exchange. 

Levi had long thought he’d suppressed and gotten over a lot of the outrage and bitterness he had possessed about those things while growing up, but apparently not, as in that moment, it all came back to him and he took it out on Zeke, pulling him up from the ground and beating the shit out of him until he went limp, stopped trying to fight back — he did a pitiful job, and didn’t stand a chance — and fell onto the ground, knocking Levi out of his stupor almost as quickly as he’d fallen into it. 

Instantly, he stopped seeing red and his ears quit ringing from the adrenaline, and he backed up, gazing down at where Zeke had collapsed onto the concrete. He was still and didn’t move and because Levi had been like a man possessed he actually feared for a moment that he was dead or something like that, but then he groaned and coughed and shifted his leg, although he did not look like he was going to truly get up anytime soon. Still, Levi heard himself swear and then huff for breath, suddenly becoming all too aware of an ache in his hands and the way that his heart was almost violently pounding in his chest. 

_Shit_ , fuck, he hadn’t been in a fight in a really long time, and needless to say, his knuckles were bloody, split open, and very, very fucking painful but...well, that was nothing compared to Zeke’s face, which looked like it had perhaps met the blunt end of a large hammer. Damn, he’d really gotten carried away, but...fucking whatever. To him in that moment, the bastard deserved it, although he still knew that he needed to get the hell out of there before any of the cronies Zeke surely had began to show up. Levi didn’t have one scratch on him other than what he’d done to his knuckles himself and obviously wanted to keep it that way, although he fortunately didn’t think that would be much of a problem in the future, epecially since he was pretty fucking sure that Zeke would not be returning to the alley near his apartment any time soon. 

Wiping the sweat from his face with the back of his hand, Levi took one last look at him and then turned to leave, and...well, that was when the knife finally came out. That was when Levi heard a grunt and the sudden sound of scuffling behind him, and when he managed to turn just in time to avoid getting stabbed in the back by Zeke. The fucker had moved fast for someone who probably should be unconscious by then, Levi thought, but when he missed Levi he stumbled, allowing him to hit Zeke’s arm so that he could knock the knife out of his hand.

It clattered to the ground and bounced and Levi dove onto it as fast as he could, obviously trying to get it before Zeke did so that he wouldn’t fucking get killed. Like that, he grabbed it in his hand and then turned so that he could get back to his feet to continue defending himself, but found almost right away that it was too late to do so when Zeke practically pounced on top him before he could even take a breath. His expression was a mixture of anger, terror, and sheer desperation, Levi saw, although all of that turned into pain just a single, split second later. 

“Shit.” Levi exhaled, knowing instantly what had just happened, what Zeke had _done_ — fallen onto the fucking blade, which had slid into his stomach so smoothly it was sickening, like a knife cutting through butter. “Shit. _Shit!”_

As he swore, Levi felt a wetness spilling onto his hand that he knew was fucking blood, but before he could do anything else, before he could even crawl out from underneath Zeke, he heard shouts and the sound of running boots, and was then set upon by a bunch of shitty cops. Someone must have seen or heard them fighting and called the police, Levi remembered thinking, although he’d been so distracted that he had not even heard the sirens. He was in shock by then anyway, really, filled with panic and regret and horror because...because had he just...had he _killed_ a man?

Accident or not that hadn’t been his intention that day, but needless to say, all the fucking pigs had seen was Levi with a knife in his hand and another man stabbed and bleeding out. No amount of explanation would have gotten Levi out of being arrested and thrown in jail that day, although truth be told, he hadn’t bothered to try to avoid it anyway. Instead, he had calmly let the police cuff his hands behind his back and shove him into a cop car, and only ended up finding out that Zeke had survived when his charge came up as attempted murder. 

_“I fucked up.”_ Levi told Erwin after he’d explained it all, uttering the words quietly, and in a tone that was heavily laden with regret. _“I fucked up bad, and I know that. I was doing good with my life and now I’ve probably ruined all of it, because shit, I didn’t have anything on my record for twelve years, just like you said. Now this’ll be there, and if I go to prison I’ll lose my job...my apartment...everything, and it’s my own fucking fault. I thought I was protecting Isabel but I just made it all worse, and I couldn’t even be there for her when she was in the hospital. I couldn’t take her back to rehab — Farlan had to do that — and if I’m still in here when she gets out, I worry that she’ll just end up getting herself into even more trouble without anyone to guide her. Even if I don’t want to be in jail though, even if she does need me, part of me wonders if she’s actually better off, and if I should just stay in here. You said I don’t belong here, Erwin, but I’m not sure, because I’d thought I wasn’t capable of doing something like that to another person anymore, you know. I thought I wasn’t that guy anymore, that I’d changed for the better and I couldn’t just go beat someone to a fucking pulp like that, but apparently not. I wonder if it doesn’t matter what I ever do either, if I’ll always be this way even if I don’t want to be, because the worst part about all of this shit is that when I was doing it...when I was hitting him...it felt really, really fucking good.”_

Erwin pressed a button and stopped the tape. He’d recorded Levi’s story after two weeks had passed and he’d finally, _finally_ gotten Levi to trust him enough to tell it in full _—_ he’d opened up far more than Erwin had expected, but once he’d gotten going apparently he couldn’t stop _—_ and he’d listened to it so many times in preparation for Levi’s bail hearing that he’d already lost count. 

Truth be told, though, he should probably be studying other things because the hearing was _tomorrow_ and it was late and much of this would not be that helpful until trial, but he was apparently a glutton for punishment, and couldn’t rest until he’d reminded himself of the stakes over and over again, effectively heaping tons of pressure on top of his untested shoulders. 

It was just...he felt so awful for Levi. His situation broke his heart, especially considering his past, and the way he spoke about himself and about what happened _—_ his voice full of that same anguish Erwin recalled hearing a hint of when they’d first met _—_ had convinced Erwin that he was telling the truth. He’d already suspected that things weren’t what they seemed at the start, but now he was certain in that belief, and found himself more determined than he could’ve ever imagined being to get Levi the hell out of jail. 

Even if Levi speculated otherwise, Erwin thought, his heart was good and he didn’t belong there, and if he didn’t succeed and Levi went to prison for attempted murder, he didn’t know how he’d be able to keep looking at himself in the mirror. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos appreciate, as always <3 thank you for your support!


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